Hotmail
by Mitzuki Amagiwa
Summary: Sasuke wasn’t a nerd. He wasn’t a geek either. It was just that he had gotten a new computer for his birthday and planned to use it in…Er…Very special ways.
1. Chapter 1

_Hotmail_

_By Mitzuki Amagiwa_

Summary: Sasuke wasn't a nerd. He wasn't a geek either. It was just that he had gotten a new computer for his birthday and planned to use it in…Er…Very _special _ways.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, do you think I'd be sitting here writing fanfiction?

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The raven-haired teen hopped onto his computer as soon as he got home from training. Everyone on his team had been kind of surprised when he left as soon as they were done, considering he was normally the one to stay and practice several hours later.

But he didn't care.

His laptop buzzed into life and Sasuke watched eagerly as the blue screen with his username came up.

He had _finally _gotten a computer. In all honesty, he thought he was going to be the very last person to get one in Konoha since even the dobe had one. But- lo and behold- he had received one for his birthday from the Uchiha Fan Club before even Neji had one.

There, he was happy.

And he figured the Fan Club could be of good use after all.

Besides taking his anger out on them.

Sasuke typed in his password, hitting the enter key lightly. His background came up, and he kind of smiled at the picture of his team.

Especially at Naruto.

The teen pulled up the Internet on the machinery, and checked his email.

He honestly didn't know what to be expecting, since no on knew his email.

He thought.

There was fan mail- ten pages worth of fan mail.

He had only gotten his account yesterday.

Sasuke grumbled slightly as he decided to empty his whole inbox.

But of course, the program didn't _work _like that. He had to go through the whole list and click on every box beside the name in order to delete any of them.

He sighed, but continued, reading a couple of the titles.

'_SASUKE-KUN!!!! I 3 U!!!!' _Was the main one that came up, but one of them caught his eyes.

'Hotmail'; He frowned slightly.

What was hotmail?

Curiously, he opened the page up in a new window and read the email. He furrowed his eyebrows as he scrolled down further.

It was statistics.

The numbers were pretty high, but Sasuke didn't understand what the statistics were about. As he neared the last part of the page, it dawned on him.

The friggin' statistics were about sex! About how many people got better sex if they hooked up on the computer!

The raven-haired teen blushed, and he began exiting out when a pop-up came up exclaiming 'IF YOU DON'T SEND A 'HOTMAIL' TO YOUR TRUE LOVE NOW ONLY BAD LUCK WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR LOVE!'

Sasuke exited out of that too. He didn't believe in that crap.

Who would?

Just as he was about to log off of his computer completely, another email came up. The male raised a brow as he realized the title was labeled 'Hotmail'.

Deciding it wouldn't hurt, the raven-haired boy opened the email up.

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AN: MUWHAHAHA!!! Cliffy! I'm so evil. Well anyway, if you want this story to continue, tell me who sent the 'hotmail'. I just might use your idea….

REVIEW NO JUTSU!!!


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Wooops!! AAHHH I haven't updated this thing in YEARS! Aish! Gomen ne! GOMEN NE!! I totally lost track of time (two years worth, right?) and I just kinda… well… blehh. Sorry guys! Ha! Oh well, on with the STORY!

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Hotmail

**Chapter 2**

By Mitzuki Amagiwa

'_Dear Sasuke;_

_ I honestly can't believe I'm doing this right now, because really, who believes in that chain mail crap? But just to be careful, I wanted to make sure to send something to you since… well, you know that I like you. _

_ Sincerely,_

_ Admirer'_

Sasuke gave a simple blink to the letter. It was nice, short sweet, simple, and didn't have 'Fangirl' written all over it. The raven- haired male looked over to the email address, which read 'cherryblossomluvr'. He gave a groan. Figures. It was probably Sakura.

He gave a small smirk as he deduced whether this girl deserved an email back… Well, deserved wasn't actually the proper word. He was aiming more for 'tortue her into thinking I care.

Screwing the idea over entirely, he began typing.

'_Hello Admirer;_

_ It's nice to know that you are so concerned about me, but really, you know I'm not going to go out with you._

_ Not Sincerely,_

_ Sasuke'_

He sent it, sighed and gave a stretch. Now he could finally-

There was a sound as another email was received.

Sasuke nearly fell out of his chair at the sound, then looked over to the monitor. What in the world…

'_Dear Stubborn Uchiha;_

_ You are such a playboy. Who said anything about wanting to go out with you? Just because I like you doesn't mean I want to go out with you! You are such a vain loser._

_ With Love,_

_ Admirer'_

He blinked at the email. That wasn't the response he was expecting…

'_Dear Admirer;_

_ First of all, I am not a playboy. I haven't even had a girlfriend yet. And I'm the loser? Look at the person who replied to the stupid chain mail!_

_ With hate,_

_ Sasuke'_

He waited a moment and – lo and behold – another email came up.

'_Dear Sasuke (You don't mind, do you?)_

_ You haven't had a girlfriend because you're the big G-A-Y! I've seen the way you stare at Neji! _

_ With truth,_

_ Admirer'_

The last Uchiha gaped with surprise. What? When? How? He never- his fingers took over before he could really think it through.

'_Dear Admirer;_

_ I AM NOT GAY!_

_ With EXTREME hate,_

_ The Totally Straight Sasuke'_

Right now he was feeling pretty good with himself. How in the world would someone counter that?

'_Dear the totally GAY Sasuke;_

_ People who aren't gay don't proclaim they aren't gay in all caps. Truthfully, they laugh at it and make a joke before telling you they aren't gay. Therefore, YOU ARE GAY!!_

_ From me who helped reveal your sexual orientation,_

_ Admirer'_

Sasuke scoffed at this one. There was no way that was true. No way at al-

_'Oh, by the way. Neji's straight. :3'_

That was the **last **straw. Sasuke stood, slammed his laptop shut, and left to go take a shower.

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AN: Well, it's done now! The chapter, I mean, lol. I'll try and update within the next two years guys, I will TRY!

REVIEW NO JUTSU!

See you guys next time! :D


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